Tom came with me to vote last week and until he walked right into the table where they were signing everyone in, no one knew he was blind. Sure, a lot of people turned to look but many did not hear me say, "My son is blind."
Of course, I said it with a smile. I think my smile tempers the reactions I get when I explain that Tommy is blind. I usually explain that Tom is blind but he is just fine and very happy. Unfortunately, Tom did not want to hold his cane when we were getting out of the car to vote so we left it behind. That cane makes Tom's blindness visible.
I am a naturally shy person but having Tom in my life has changed that. I am in the spotlight when I'm with Tom whether I like it or not! He attracts attention wherever he goes and people are just so interested in him.
I often have people ask me questions or share stories about blind people they know. I have grown into my role as assistant to a small ambassador for the blind community. I no longer shrink from the stares and whispers like I used to. I think the kindness we have experienced has helped me a lot.
I like the way people treat Tom when he has his cane. I can tell they are impressed that someone so young is learning to make his way in the world. I can honestly say that going from "invisible" blind child to a "visible" blind child with a cane has been a better, but you will have to wait a couple years to hear Tom's take on the subject.
 |
| Tom learning Orientation & Mobility at the Mall. |
Ahhhh. I can remember the first 8-12 months after we adopted our daughter. I remember the anger and not understanding where it came from. I loved her! One day it clicked, this shy timid person was getting backed into a corner every time we stepped out the front door. She continually drew attention to herself by either her glasses or her Down syndrome. I was reacting to that anxiety. It's tiring for an introvert, I always feel the stares. I am learning to be an advocate, just as she is teaching all those around us how to persevere, and extend grace.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you don't mind people looking at Tom with his cane--there is so much benign curiosity about people who are different that I am sad when people get offended by that curiosity! The person who is staring might be reminded of someone they know. I worked in many special ed classes as a substitute teacher and am always curious about how special needs students socialize outside of school.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any blind people in my life, but I enjoy how educational your blog is and have learned tons from your openness. Thanks! Tom is so cute, and I know he'll go far!
Hi- I'm glad you are enjoying the blog.
DeleteYes, you don't see many blind children with canes so I know people can't help but look. Plus Tom is a real cutie!
I know that whenever I am in public we are going to be noticed and I'm ready for it. I have had some strange reactions (people asking to touch him?) but most people are very kind.
I think seeing Tom use the cane helps people view him as someone who is in charge and not to be pitied. I'm sure people who have children in wheelchairs get strange comments and lots of looks too.
My goal is to protect Tom from negative comments about blindness. I don't want him to think he is someone to be pitied or that he should feel bad about himself in any way.