I wish I could do a story on television telling everyone about blind children so that I wouldn't have to deal with tactless comments from strangers. I guess that's just part of being a mom to a special needs kid.
So I was at Dunkin Donuts being talked into purchasing a whole dozen, when the man in line behind me asked me if Thomas was sleepy. Now this happens all the time because Thomas often keeps his eyes closed in new situations and environments. It takes him a while to decide to explore visually, he uses his hearing first.
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| Tom plays possum in public, closed eyes until he is comfortable |
Sometimes I say, "Yes, He is sleepy." But today I said, "No, my son is blind." And I said it with a smile, because I want to convey, right away, that this is OK! But the man says, "Oh, that's so sad." And I said, "No, it's not sad, he's doing very well." And AGAIN he says, "That's sad."
What people don't get is that Thomas can hear you!!! He is listening very intently and he hears you saying he is sad. It just kills me.
I know it is surprising to meet a blind baby when you are just a stranger making conversation about a cute toddler. Most people have never met a blind person, and certainly not a blind child and I understand that. However, I have to worry about Thomas and I don't want him hearing these negative comments about blindness. And I also don't feel that I should have to hide his blindness. It is as much a part of him as his cute smile.
So where does that leave me? So far, I think it leaves me thinking up an extremely positive speech for situations like this. And some time practicing my smile.
But I know that soon we will be announcing to the world that Thomas is blind when he begins using a white cane. I will be sure to have my speech prepared for that!
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| A toddler with an eye patch - He makes it look good! |
He is beautiful!! I know exactly how you feel...I've had it said many times to me "ohhow sad" or "poor little thing..."
ReplyDeleteCan't stand that! Glad I found you r site! Mine is here at
http://jennohara-theblindspot.blogspot.com My daughter is also blind. :)
You did GREAT. You are right Thomas can hear you and he hear his mother was not ashamed of his blindness. He got that message. I got in a fight with a 'family friend' when I called Abby blind. Some people think they are well meaning experts.
ReplyDeleteThomas is going to look adorable with his cane. He always looks adorable. We get MANY different responses for Abby. Some ignore us.. Some parents grab their children and look like Abby's blindness is catchy LOL and sometimes we get looks. Usually I just smile and say hi. I love answering kids questions.
When Jake was younger he would always keep his eyes closed and I can't even count how many times I heard the 'Oh look a that sleepy boy'. I've said many times. No he's blind. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard the response "oh well he's still cute"... DUH!! Of course he is cute. Now that he is older he now classified as legally blind and can see somewhat he always holds his hand over one eye like kids do when they are tired and I still get the 'oh look at that sleepy little boy'.
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